How Not To Get A Date
Saturday, January 21st, 20061. Choose a profession wherein you are consistently exhausted, stressed out, and surrounded by five year olds.
2. Be very picky. Very, very picky. Strive for the imaginary, shun the slightly imperfect.
3. Move to a new city where you only know a few people. Spend all your time with them, at your house or their house.
4. Go to bars, where the music is loud and all the people there are either drunk, trying to be cool, or both.
5. Take out a personal ad. Make yourself sound slightly boring. Then don’t try to contact any of the other personal ads people, even if they sound a little bit interesting.
6. Indulge bad feelings about yourself. Let them show.
